Teresa Valliere, Crossroads for Women’s director of inpatient services, recently did a presentation on treating women with addictions. The audience was largely made up of nurses, physicians and other medical staff.

For her presentation, women in recovery were asked to share their wisdom about how medical staff might interact with them in medical encounters – whether they were in active addiction, contemplation stage, asking for help or in recovery. Here’s what they had to say:

Know the signs of addiction if my story doesn’t add up, if I look different
Ask me more questions
Ask to see me if I keep asking for refills
Don’t assume that I am not addicted by how I look – I know how to hide it
Don’t assume I am addicted by how I look
Know the resources to refer me for help and have the information in the office
Help me make the phone call if I can’t
Learn more about addiction
Talk to addicted people
Keep the conversation going
Ask personal questions in private, not in front of my family or other staff
Don’t assume I am tying to manipulate you just because I am addicted
Remember I have real pain too
Remember I am afraid to come out of hiding
If I hint that I have a problem, ask me more
If I tell you I am in recovery, I am afraid you won’t give me medication when I really need it
Don’t tell me just to stop, I already tried
Don’t judge me, I am ashamed enough already
Say something to me if I tell you something that is hard to talk about – like addiction, or trauma or my abusive relationship – like, “thank you for telling me, that must be hard to talk about”
Ask me more about me as a person, not just my problems
Make time to talk with me
Look me in the eyes
Use my name
If I am crying, hold my hand or say something kind
Challenge me if you think I am in active addiction
Remember that I thought pills were the answer to everything
Say no to more pills – but offer me an alternative
Don’t be pushed or blackmailed into giving more medication when your gut says no
Don’t take it personally if I tried to get medication from you in active addiction – It didn’t have anything to do with you – I would have done anything
Assist me in getting the help – like making a phone call – my brain is not working right
Drug test me; ask for a pill count
Talk straight to me about your concern of my addiction
Show some emotion, concern
Say something kind
Remember someone you love who is addicted when you are talking with me

Women are up to 48% more likely than men to be prescribed a narcotic, antianxiety or other potentially abusable drug [National Institute on Drug Abuse. (2001)]. You’d be surprised at how much a conversation in the doctor’s office might help an addicted woman.